Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
March 27, 2019
+
See a pretty edition of this newsletter: https://bit.ly/EverythingYouAre
+
Relationship" is a dull term for something so interesting. Try "link-flash"
instead. Rather than calling people your "friend" or "partner," call them
your "accomplice," your "freestyle," or your "lightning."
Boring terms like "significant other," "boyfriend," "girlfriend," & "spouse"
could be retired, too. Try "lushbuddy," "heartbeat," or "jelly roll."
Feel free to coin your own surgecrafts and questbursts.
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
YOU'RE FREE!
It's a free country. You're free to desecrate nature and live without any
thought for our descendants and forever and adamantly believe every
borrowed idea that settled into your head when you were coming of age.
You're free to scarf down pesticide-laden junk food and memorize Ford
truck jingles and vote for old white straight male millionaires.
On the other hand, you're also free to go on jubilant picnics in the
wilderness using sustainable dishware and cleaning up after yourself.
You're free to formulate a master plan to achieve your own precious
dreams in ways that will also serve our fellow humans and bestow
blessings on our descendants.
You're free to radically revise your philosophy of life every once in a while
to account for the ever-changing contours of your own destiny and the
ever-evolving urgencies of our shared culture and history.
You're free—FREE!!!!—to care dearly about what foods you put in your
body and regard advertising as a form of propagandistic brainwashing and
do your part to increase the representation of women in political office to
at least fifty percent.
I bring these thoughts to your attention because i'd love to encourage
you to become a connoisseur of freedom and a master of the art of
liberation. I'm hoping to kick your butt a bit even as I pique your
excitement about a full range of emancipatory possibilities.
Hypothesis: to serve your ambitions most effectively, be more motivated
by the desire to give your gifts and express your love than by the push to
do your duty or the lust to attract approval or the hop to win money and
prizes.
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
MY DAUGHTER AND I ON THE SAME PODCAST
For the first time, my daughter Zoe Brezsny and I both appear on the
same podcast. The show is "Plaster Cramp," an experimental archive of
readings, descriptions, sounds, & other aural ephemera for the vision and
reading impaired, created by Maliea Croy.
In this show, I do my spoken-word piece "Re-Genius Yourself," and Zoe
does two pieces: "Light Beams for the Sky of a Transfer Corridor" and
"See You in the Next World."
Listen here: https://tinyurl.com/yy87quer
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
OTHER RELIGIONS TO CHOOSE FROM
There are a lot of other religions to choose from besides the giant
fundamentalist cults that dominate the mass media's attention. On of my
favorites is Discordianism. Here's a sampling of Discordian tenets.
1. Everyone is a saint, especially you.
2. Meditation consists primarily of cruising around looking for good luck.
3. Eating hot dog buns is prohibited, except on Friday, when it's
compulsory.
4. When you're stuck in a rut, you must speak in tongues, handle snakes,
and experience phantasmagoria.
5. Your guardian angel loves you better when your room is a mess.
6. Bowling alleys are sacred; you must protect them from desecration.
7. The Goddess will solve all your problems if you solve all hers.
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
YOUR MUSEFULNESS
I propose we revive an archaic English word, "museful." Hundreds of years
ago, it simply meant meditative, pensive, or thoughtful. Let's expand its
definition to be "full of the presence and inspiration of the muse."
P.S. Who is your muse or who are your muses? Provide an image or
sound.
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
MORE PRONOIA RESOURCES:
For more about the good news stories below, plus links to the articles
that provide full evidence, go here: https://tinyurl.com/ya8kb4rh
1. Youth crime in the Australian state of New South Wales has plummeted
in the last 20 years. Vehicle theft is down by 59%, property theft by
59%, and drunk-driving by 49%.
2. In the last generation, arrests of Californian teenagers have fallen by
80%, murder arrests by 85%, gun killings by 75%, imprisonments by
88%, teen births by 75%, school dropouts by half, and college
enrollments are up by 45%.
3. According to new data from the Department of Justice, the proportion
of people being sent to prison in the United States has fallen to its lowest
level in 20 years.
4. Thanks to shifting tastes amongst those born after 1980, 70% of the
world's population is reducing meat consumption or leaving meat off the
table altogether.
5. Germany announced one of the most ambitious waste management
schemes in history. The government plans to recycle 63% of its total
waste within the next four years, up from 36% today.
6. The Malaysian government announced it would not allow any further
expansion of oil palm plantations, and that it intends to maintain forest
cover at 50%.
7. Denmark became the latest country to announce a ban on internal
combustion engines. There are now 16 countries with bans that come
into effect before 2040—including China and India, the two biggest car
markets in the world.
8. In 2018, the world surpassed the four million mark for electric vehicles.
In the world's biggest car market, China, electric cars reached 5% of
sales; China's internal combustion car market is flat, with all growth now
being absorbed by EVs.
9. Adidas sold five million pairs of shoes made from ocean plastic in 2018,
and is committed to using only recycled plastic in its products by 2024.
10. Four years ago, China declared a war on pollution. It's working. Cities
have, on average, cut concentrations of fine particulates in the air by
32%.
(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They aren't advertisements,
and I get no kickbacks.)
Please tell me your own nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES:
Truthrooster@gmail.com.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
GIFTS FOR ME
If you would like to contribute to me and my well-being, please visit my
Gift Page: https://paypal.me/GiftsForRob
Give your gift via the "Friends and Family" option.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning March 28
Copyright 2019 by Rob Brezsny
https://FreeWillAstrology.com/horoscopes/
Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Kermit the Frog from *Sesame Street* is the
world's most famous puppet. He has recorded songs, starred in films and
TV shows, and written an autobiography. His image has appeared on
postage stamps and he has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
Kermit's beginnings were humble, however. When his creator Jim Henson
first assembled him, he consisted of Henson's mom's green coat and two
halves of a white ping pong ball. I mention this, Aries, because the current
astrological omens suggest that you, too, could make a puppet that will
one day have great influence. APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. Here's the whole
truth: now isn't a favorable time to start work on a magnificent puppet.
But it is a perfect moment to launch the rough beginnings of a project
that's well-suited for your unique talents.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Taurus businessman Chuck Feeney made a
huge fortune as the entrepreneur who co-developed duty-free shopping.
But at age 87, he lives frugally, having given away $8 billion to
philanthropic causes. He doesn't even own a house or car. In accordance
with astrological omens, I invite you to follow his lead in the coming
weeks. Be unreasonably generous and exorbitantly helpful. APRIL FOOL! I
exaggerated a bit. While it's true that now is an extra favorable time to
bestow blessings on everyone, you shouldn't go overboard. Make sure
your giving is artful, not careless or compulsive.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Now is a perfect time to start learning the
Inuktitut language spoken by the indigenous people of Eastern Canada.
Here are some key phrases to get you underway. 1. *UllusiuKattagit
inosek*: Celebrate your life! 2. *Pitsialagigavit, piggogutivagit!*: Because
you're doing amazing things, I'm proud of you! 3. *Nalligijauvutit*: You are
loved! 4. *Kajusitsiatuinnagit*: Keep it up! APRIL FOOL! I lied. Now isn't
really a better time than any other to learn the Inuktitut language. But it
is an important time to talk to yourself using phrases like those I
mentioned. You need to be extra kind and super positive toward yourself.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): When he was twenty years old, Greek military
leader Alexander the Great began to conquer the world. By age 30, he
ruled the vast territory between Greece and northwest India. Never shy
about extolling his own glory, he named 70 cities after himself. I offer his
example as a model for you. Now is a favorable time to name clouds after
yourself, as well as groves of trees, stretches of highway, buses, fire
hydrants, parking spaces, and rocks. APRIL FOOL. I got a bit carried away.
It's true that now is a good time to assert your authority, extend your
clout, and put your unique stamp on every situation. But I don't
recommend that you name entire cities after yourself.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Now is an excellent time to join an exotic religion.
How about the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, which believes
that true spiritual devotion requires an appreciation of satire? Or how
about Discordianism, which worships the goddess of chaos and disorder?
Then there's the United Church of Bacon, whose members exult in the
flavor of their favorite food. (Here's a list of more:
tinyurl.com/WeirdReligions.) APRIL FOOL! I wasn't entirely truthful. It's
accurate to say that now is a great time to reinvigorate and transform
your spiritual practice. But it's better if you figure that out by yourself.
There's no need to get your ideas from a bizarre cult.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Studies show that people who love grilled
cheese sandwiches engage in more sexual escapades than those who
don't gorge on grilled cheese sandwiches. So I advise you to eat a lot of
grilled cheese sandwiches, because then you will have more sex than
usual. And that's important, because you are now in a phase when you will
reap huge healing benefits from having as much sex as possible. APRIL
FOOL! I lied when I implied that eating more grilled cheese sandwiches
would motivate you to have more sex. But I wasn't lying when I said that
you should have more sex than usual. And I wasn't lying when I said you
will reap huge benefits from having as much sex as possible. (P.S. If you
don't have a partner, have sex with your fantasies or yourself.)
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
MAYBE JOY AND PLEASURE ARE ESSENTIAL SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCES
Assume that your drive to experience pleasure and happiness isn't a
barrier to your spiritual growth, but is in fact essential to it. Proceed on
the hypothesis that cultivating joy can make you a more ethical and
compassionate person. Imagine that feeling good has something
important to teach you every day.
For inspiration in practicing this approach, tune in to your EXPANDED
AUDIO HOROSCOPES. They're four-to-five-minute meditations on the
current state of your destiny.
To listen to your Expanded Audio Horoscope online, go to
https://freewillastrology.sparkns.com
Register and/or log in through the main page.
The cost is $6 per sign. (Discounts are available for bulk purchases.)
You can also access them for $1.99 per minute by phone. to do so, call
1-877-873-4888.
+
"Your audio horoscopes help me love myself better, and I mean that in a
non-narcissistic way."
-Deva P., Indianapolis
"I'm really grateful for the way you pick up my telepathic requests and
answer them in your expanded audio 'scopes!"
- Marion H., Birmingham, AL
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): If you ever spend time at the McMurdo Station
in Antarctica, you'll get a chance to become a member of the 300 Club.
To be eligible, you wait till the temperature outside drops to minus 100
degrees Fahrenheit. When it does, you spend 20 minutes in a sauna
heated to 200 degrees. Then you exit into the snow and ice wearing
nothing but white rubber boots, and run a few hundred feet to a
ceremonial pole and back. In so doing, you expose your naked body to a
swing of 300 degrees. According to my astrological analysis, now is an
ideal time to pull off this feat. APRIL FOOL! I lied. I'm not really urging you
to join the 300 Club. On the other hand, I do think it's a favorable phase
to go to extremes for an authentically good cause.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Scientific research shows that if you arrange
to get bitten by thousands of mosquitoes in a relatively short time, you
make yourself immune. Forever after, mosquito bites won't itch you. Now
would be an excellent time for you to launch such a project. APRIL FOOL! I
lied. I don't really think you should do that. On the contrary. You should
scrupulously avoid irritations and aggravations, especially little ones.
Instead, immerse yourself in comfort and ease. Be as free from vexation
as you have ever been!
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): If allowed to do what comes naturally,
two rabbits and their immediate descendants will produce 1,300 new
rabbits in twelve months' time. In five years, their offspring would amount
to 94 million. I suspect that you will approach this level of fertility in the
next four weeks, at least in a metaphorical sense. APRIL FOOL! I stretched
the truth a bit. There's no way you will produce more than a hundred
good new ideas and productions and gifts. At the most, you'll generate a
mere 50.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The weather is warm year-round and the
crime rate is low on Pitcairn, a remote South Pacific island that is a 30-
hour boat ride away from the nearest airport. The population has been
dwindling in recent years, however, which is why the government offers
foreigners free land if they choose to relocate. You might want to
consider taking advantage of this opportunity. APRIL FOOL! I was
exaggerating. It's true that you could get major health benefits by taking
a sabbatical from civilization. But there's no need to be so drastic about
it.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You don't have to run faster than the bear
that's chasing you. You just have to run faster than the slowest person
the bear is chasing. OK? So don't worry! APRIL FOOL! What I just said
wasn't your real horoscope. I hope you know me well enough to
understand that I would NEVER advise you to save your own ass by
betraying or sacrificing someone else. It's also important to note that the
bear I mentioned is entirely metaphorical in nature. So please ignore what
I said earlier. However, I do want you to know that there are effective
ways to elude the symbolic bear that are also honorable. To discover
them, meditate on calming down the beastly bear-like qualities in yourself.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Now is a favorable time to disguise yourself
as a bland nerd with no vivid qualities, or a shy wallflower with no strong
opinions, or a polite wimp who prefers to avoid adventure. Please don't
even consider doing anything that's too interesting or controversial.
APRIL FOOL! I lied. The truth is, I hope you'll do the opposite of what I
suggested. I think it's time to express your deep authentic self with
aggressive clarity. Be brave and candid and enterprising.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
What's the best joke or prank you could play on yourself?
FreeWillAstrology.com.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
NEED TO CHANGE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS?
To join or leave the email list for this newsletter, or to change the address
where you receive it, go to:
https://FreeWillAstrology.com/newsletter/
Once you join, check these points to ensure you'll actually receive the
newsletter:
1. Add my address, televisionary@comcast.net, to your address book so
that the newsletter won't be treated as spam and filtered out.
2. Adjust your spam filter so it doesn't treat my address as spam.
3. Tell your company's IT group to let my address pass through any
filtering software they have set up.
4. If my newsletters don't reach your inbox, look in your "Bulk Mail" or
"Junk Mail" folder.
5. Problems could originate with your email provider. It may be using a
"content filter" that prevents my newsletter from reaching you. If you
suspect that's true, complain. Tell your email provider to stop blocking
my newsletter.
P.S. I totally respect your privacy. I'll never sell or give away your address
to anyone.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Submissions sent to Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
or in response to "homework assignments" may be
published in a variety of formats at Rob Brezsny's discretion,
including but not limited to newsletters, books, the Free Will
Astrology column, and Free Will Astrology website. We reserve
the right to edit submissions for length, style, and content.
Requests for anonymity will be honored. We are not responsible for
unsolicited submission of any creative material.
Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2019 Rob Brezsny
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++