Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter http://ezezine.com
Rob Brezsny's Free Will Astrology Newsletter
"Suffering is not holding you. You are holding suffering. When you
become good at the art of letting sufferings go, then you'll come to
realize how unnecessary it was for you to drag those burdens around with
you. You'll see that no one else other than you was responsible. The truth
is that existence wants your life to become a festival."
-Osho
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October 11, 2006
http://freewillastrology.com
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My weekly Free Will Astrology horoscopes are not only formulated to
strengthen your free will. They're also free of charge.
I would like to make money by following my bliss, though, which is why I
have two other horoscope features you can buy if you're so moved.
I'm now offering DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES -- short, sweet
bursts of illumination delivered seven days a week to your cell phone or
other mobile device. You can sign up for them at
http://realastrology.com. The cost is $6.99 per week (billed monthly), or
$4.99 per week (billed monthly) if you choose to automatically renew
your account.
I've also got EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES -- weekly spoken-word
musings on your destiny that run about three to four minutes. They're
available at http://realastrology.com. The cost is $6 per reading, or $20
if you buy four readings, and $60 if you buy 16 readings.
The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or
1-900-950-7700 for $1.99 per minute.
By the way, I've just changed hosts for the Expanded Audio Horoscopes.
If you're a long-time listener, you have to change your bookmarked page.
The new page is http://realastrology.com. The new system runs on
Windows Media Player instead of RealPlayer.
ATTENTION CANADIAN LISTENERS:
Your new number for the Expanded Audio Horoscopes is
1-877-873-4888
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Here are excerpts from my book
"PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA:
How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings"
available at http://tinyurl.com/qaj62
or find out more at http://www.freewillastrology.com
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DEVOTIONAL PRONOIA THERAOY
Experiments and exercises in becoming a gracefully probing, erotically
funny, shockingly friendly Master of Orgasmic Empathy
1. Ruminate about the sublime prototypes that might be hidden within
the longings you're not so proud of. Dream of the noble purposes that lie
beneath the plaintive cries of your heart. Write about them here.
2. Assume that your capacity for experiencing pleasure is not a barrier to
your spiritual growth, but is in fact essential to it. What would you do
differently from what you do now?
3. Close your eyes and visualize an alluring person standing in front of
you. Then imagine that he or she is gazing at you with affectionate desire.
Add to the scene another enchanting person who is also beaming with
adoration. Insert still another such character, and another, and another.
Don't stop until you have arrayed before you in your mind's eye 10
enticing people of your favorite gender—and they're all glowing with love
and appreciation.
Let the scene develop further, like a waking dream, unfolding in directions
that surprise and delight you.
4. Force yourself to think a kind thought about someone you don't like.
Next, try an even harder task: Force yourself to think a kind thought
about someone who doesn't like you.
5. Robin Norwood's self-help book *Women Who Love Too Much* deals
with a theme that has gotten a lot of play in recent decades: If you're too
generous to someone who doesn't appreciate it and at the expense of
your own needs, you can make yourself sick.
An alternative perspective comes from Blaise Pascal, who said, "When one
does not love too much, one does not love enough." He was primarily
addressing psychologically healthy altruists, but it's a good ideal for
pronoia lovers to keep in mind.
Decide whether you need to move more in the direction of Norwood's or
Pascal's advice. Develop a game plan to carry out your resolve, then take
action.
6. A common obstruction to a vital intimate relationship with another
human being is what I call the assumption of clairvoyance. You imagine,
perhaps unconsciously, that your partner or friend is somehow magically
psychic when it comes to you—so much so that he or she should
unfailingly intuit exactly what you need, even if you don't ask for it. This
fantasy may seem romantic, but it can single-handedly sink the most
promising alliances.
To counteract any tendencies you might have to indulge in the
assumption of clairvoyance, practice stating your desires aloud.
7. Pick out two strangers you aren't attracted to and who seem lonely
and dull. Discreetly discover their names and addresses, maybe by
following them home, then coming back later to steal the junk mail from
their mailbox. Write them each a love note and sign it "Your Secret
Admirer."
8. "Love is being stupid together," said French poet Paul Valéry. While
there's a grain of truth to that, it's too corny and decadent for my tastes.
I prefer to focus on a more interesting truth, which is this: Real love is
being smart together. If you weave your destiny together with another's,
he or she should catalyze your sleeping potentials, sharpen your
perceptions, and boost both your emotional and analytical intelligence.
Your relationship becomes a crucible in which you deepen your
understanding of the way the world works.
Give an example of your closest approach to this model in your own life.
Then formulate a vow in which you promise you'll do what's necessary to
more fully embody the principle "love is being smart together."
9. Describe to your best companion a detailed vision of his or her best
possible future.
10. The Doctrine of Original Sin? I spit on it. I reject it. I renounce it and
annihilate it from reality. In its place I offer the Doctrine of Original Fun.
This reformulation of the truth asserts that we are all born with a
mandate to have as much liberating joy as possible. Present three
arguments of pieces of evidence in support of the Doctrine of Original
Fun.
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To read other news and features from my book, go here:
http://snipurl.com/l9o3
To buy the book, use the links to Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble,
which are on my homepage at http://www.freewillastrology.com
Or cut and paste the direct links below:
AMAZON
http://snipurl.com/krjj
BARNES & NOBLE
http://snipurl.com/krjn
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OTHER PRONOIA RESOURCES:
REVERSE GRAFFITI
"'Moose' is no regular graffiti artist. In fact, he's the reverse-graffiti artist.
He created his street art by *cleaning* the dirt and grime off of surfaces."
http://tinyurl.com/f2gqc
FUTURE SEX
Beyond Porn: "Make Sex Funny with Comic Sutra Laughing Sexercises"
http://laughingsex.com/
BOOKS
All books by Robert Anton Wilson, and especially these:
*Prometheus Rising*
http://tinyurl.com/oa84h
*Quantum Psychology*
http://tinyurl.com/qvppk
NEWS
Treatment to neutralise all flu
http://tinyurl.com/k9y2v
(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They're not advertisements,
and I get no kickbacks.)
Please tell me your own personal nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES.
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning October 12
Copyright 2006 by Rob Brezsny
http://www.freewillastrology.com
Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*
ARIES (March 21-April 19): According to the *Midwest Book Review,*
David Foster Wallace's 1,088-page book *Infinite Jest* is "perhaps the
most innovative novel in the English language since James Joyce's
*Ulysses."* The *Review of Contemporary Fiction* calls *Infinite Jest* a
vast comic epic, adding that it's "so brilliant you need sunglasses to read
it." On the other hand, critic Dan Schneider (Cosmoetica.com) believes
*Infinite Jest* "might be the worst novel ever written." I expect that
there will be a similar diversity of opinion about you and your efforts in
the coming week, Aries. My advice? Ignore everyone's assessment but
your own and that of the person who knows you best.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Roy Rivenburg writes in the *L.A. Times* that
there has recently been a rash of mannequin assaults. He cites four
people who have been struck by falling dummies while shopping in clothes
stores. For example, one victim was hit in the head by a mannequin's arm
when a clerk tried to remove its shirt. I mention this for two reasons,
Taurus. First, the planets are aligned in such a way as to suggest that you
could, if you're not careful, get in a tangle with a doll, statue, puppet,
robot, or scarecrow in the coming week. Second, you should minimize
your interactions with anyone whose expression never changes, whose
behavior seems mechanical, or whose actions seem controlled by
someone else.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Growing up in Montreal, musician Rufus
Wainwright was steeped in the mystique of that city's legendary
songwriter Leonard Cohen. As a young adult, Wainwright finally got to
meet Cohen. The great man's daughter brought him to her family's home.
To Wainwright's surprise, Cohen was in his underwear in the kitchen
cooking up tiny sausages, which he was chewing, regurgitating, and
feeding to a weak baby bird he had found and was trying to revive. I
predict that you'll soon have a comparable experience, Gemini: A revered
source of magic and myth will confound your fantasies in a poignant and
delightful way. You may even cry with amazement and laugh with
mournful bliss. (Thanks to the film *I'm Your Man* for Wainwright's story.)
CANCER (June 21-July 22): "It's my job to be emotional," rock music
goddess Bjork told *Nylon* magazine. "Doctors cure diseases and
shoemakers make shoes. It's my job to go through emotions and describe
them to other people." By my astrological reckoning, this is also an apt
description of the role you should play in the coming weeks, my fellow
Cancerian. It's a perfect time for you to commune with every feeling on
your vast palette, as well as to add some new colors and textures you've
never imagined before. One more piece of advice: As you express the
richness of your inner world to interested parties, be artistic and
entertaining, never self-indulgent or sloppy.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Here's some advice I bet you won't get from any
other astrologer, therapist, or counselor: Get *ungrounded* for a while.
You heard me, Leo. Detach from your moorings. Sail up into the
stratosphere and exult in having your head in the clouds. Be dreamy and
floaty and airy-fairy (except when driving or operating heavy machinery,
of course). For best results, you might also want to throw off your chains.
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I'm now offering DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES -- short, sweet
bursts of illumination delivered seven days a week to your cell phone or
other mobile device. Sign up for them at http://realastrology.com.
*************************************************
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Astute salesmen from the British store
Fortnum & Mason took full advantage of the Crimean War back in the
1850s. They sold picnic lunches to officers who were leading the battles
at the siege of Sebastapol on the Black Sea coast. In the coming weeks,
Virgo, you too can capitalize on a conflict you're not directly involved in.
For best results, make sure you don't get caught in the crossfire.
Cultivate neutrality, doing absolutely nothing to feed the flames of
hostility. Ply your skills and offer your services with impeccable timing,
slipping in and out with understated efficiency during lulls in the uproar.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You're renowned for your balancing acts, Libra.
Seeing both sides of every story is your specialty. Striving to make
opposites attract is an inclination you were born to cultivate. You may not
always be in the mood to fight for harmony, and you may not always
succeed at maintaining equilibrium, but you work harder at these fine arts
than any other sign of the zodiac. Having said all that, though, I will now
advise you to rebel against your usual shtick. It's time for you to try out a
new *unbalancing* act--to go to extremes without worrying about
covering your ass. The cosmos is giving you permission to be
unapologetically vivacious and mischievously blunt as you say, "It's my
way or the highway." (P.S. You might want to study the style of your
Aries acquaintances.)
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Medical researchers have discovered an
innovative technique for fighting brain cancer: radioactive scorpion
venom. Injected into tumors, it attacks the malignancy with remarkable
efficiency. I mention this, Scorpio, because it's a good metaphor for an
opportunity that's now presenting itself to you. If invoked and applied in
small doses, a normally toxic part of your Scorpio nature can catalyze a
breakthrough that will lead to a deep healing.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): This would be a perfect moment to fly
to Afghanistan and volunteer to play with refugee children whose mothers
are suffering from post-traumatic stress syndrome. It would also be an
excellent time to bring vitality and wisdom to a dispute among your family
members that's challenging for you to deal with. In fact, pretty much
anything you do to help people who are difficult to help would, in ways
impossible to foresee, energize your own ambitions. Being a humble,
selfless saint for a while would turn out to be a tremendous spur to your
personal goals.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): My Hollywood spies tell me that one of the
new products placed in the gift bags for the celebrities at the Emmy
Awards show was Oxyfresh's Pet Oral Hygiene Solution, a breath-
freshening spray for dogs, cats, monkeys, and other beloved animals. It
would be a good week, astrologically speaking, for you to obtain this
product for the creatures in your life. More than that, though, it will also
be a favorable time for you to scout out promotional opportunities for
your own unique product or talent. How can you get your specialty into
the hands of ripe prospects who don't know about it yet?
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): King Ludwig II of Bavaria (1845-1886) was
deposed after being designated as insane by a team of psychiatrists.
Among the evidence they cited as proof that Ludwig was crazy were his
blueprints for a flying vehicle that would resemble a peacock. In recent
months, however, a German engineer named Dalibor Karacic has examined
Mad King Ludwig's plans and declared that they are feasible. The steam-
powered peacock would have indeed been capable of flight. Ludwig, says
Karacic, was ahead of his time. Take heart from this correction, Aquarius.
If you relentlessly nurture your faith in your frontier ideas--notions that
others might call fairy tales--you will ultimately be vindicated.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Your addiction is obstructing you from your
destiny, and yet it's also your ally. How can both be true? On the
downside, your addiction diverts your energy from a deeper desire that it
superficially resembles. For instance, if you're an alcoholic, your urge to
get loaded is probably an inferior substitute for and a poor imitation of
your buried longing to commune with spiritual mysteries. On the upside,
your addiction is also your ally, because it dares you to get strong and
smart enough to wrestle free of its grip on you; it pushes you to summon
the fierce willpower necessary to defeat the darkness within you that
would obstruct you from your destiny. (P.S. Don't tell me you have no
addictions. Each of us is addicted to some sensation, feeling, thought, or
action, if not to an actual substance.)
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HOMEWORK:
Test this hypothesis: The answer to your most pressing question will
come within 72 hours after you do a ritual in which you ask for clarity.
Testify by going to http://www.realastrology.com and clicking on "Email
Rob."
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You can reach Jonathan at jonathanzap@hotmail.com
His homepage is at:
http://www.zaporacle.com/
Info about his dream work and other services are at:
http://www.zaporacle.com/textpattern/shop
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I totally respect your privacy. I'll never sell or give away your address to
anyone.
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Submissions sent to the Free Will Astrology Weekly Newsletter
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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2006 Rob Brezsny
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