Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter http://ezezine.com
Rob Brezsny's Free Will Astrology Newsletter
"Half of what you know today will be obsolete in five years. That prospect
should fill you with excitement." -Vimala Blavatsky
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March 29, 2006
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http://www.freewillastrology.com
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Here is my upcoming public appearance:
EAST WEST BOOKSTORE
Saturday, April 1
7:30 pm
324 Castro Street
Mountain View, CA 94041
800-909-6161
http://www.eastwest.com/
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Here's an excerpt from my book
"PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA:
How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings"
available at http://snipurl.com/krjj
or find out more at http://www.freewillastrology.com
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EVIL FEARS LAUGHTER
Are demons and devils real? In my view, it doesn't matter whether or not
they exist in an objective or literal sense. The point is that we are all
plagued by split-off, unintegrated portions of our own and other people's
psyches. They behave exactly as if they were diabolical entities--demons,
djinns, dybbuks, and devils--working at cross-purposes to our conscious
desires.
In dealing with their hassling interventions, I endorse the approach
described by Paul Foster Case in his book, The Tarot: A Key to the
Wisdom of the Ages. There he suggested that mirth is the best way to
beat the devil. "Laughter is prophylactic," he wrote. "It purifies
subconsciousness and dissolves mental complexes. In a hymn to the sun-
god Ra we read, 'Thy priests go forth at dawn, washing their hearts with
laughter.' This is a prescription we may all follow to advantage."
My friend and teacher, Vimala Nostradamus, echoes Case. "The best way
to neutralize the devil is to laugh at him," she says. "Satan's most
effective recruiting technique is to get people to take themselves too
seriously." To exemplify her argument, she once told her daughter in my
presence about a foolproof way to avoid being hassled if you're a woman
walking by a crew of construction workers: "Pick your nose."
The novels of Tom Robbins provide spiritual guidance about dealing with
diabolical spirits, both those that originate within us and those that come
from without. Here's a sample tip from his Jitterbug Perfume: "Play--more
than piety, more than charity or vigilance--is what allows human beings to
transcend evil."
We regret to report that further help on this matter is not available from
the holy books of the world's major religions. None of their authors ever
figured out that an excellent weapon against the fragmented, shadowy
portions of our psyches is humor, tomfoolery, and laughter. This
ignorance may be the greatest mystery in history.
But Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Confucianism,
Taoism, Shintoism, Zoroastrianism, and Jainism aren't the only spiritual
traditions that have failed to take advantage of evil's primary weakness.
The esoteric spiritual paths of the West, including Hermeticism,
Rosicrucianism, and alchemy, also suffer from an inexplicable lack of jokes
and fun at the heart of their practice. Shamanism, paganism, yoga, and
tantra are, for the most part, similarly bereft.
There are rare exceptions. The Sufis have cracked a few funny stories
down through the ages. The Fourth Way teacher, George Gurdjieff, had a
sense of humor that he used pedagogically. And 20th-century America
spawned two authentically comic religions, Discordianism and the Church
of the Subgenius . . . .
TO READ THE REST OF THIS PIECE, GO HERE:
http://www.freewillastrology.com/beauty/
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To read other pieces from my book, go here:
http://snipurl.com/l9o3
or
http://freewillastrology.com/beauty/beauty.main145.shtml
To buy the book, use the links to Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble,
which are on my homepage at http://www.freewillastrology.com
Or cut and paste the direct links below:
AMAZON
http://snipurl.com/krjj
BARNES & NOBLE
http://snipurl.com/krjn
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OTHER PRONOIA RESOURCES:
WEBSITE
Good News Network
http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org
MUSIC
*Hymns for the Exiled* by Anais Mitchell
http://snipurl.com/oc3q
MAGAZINE
*The Sun* magazine
http://www.thesunmagazine.org
Once on *The Sun* website, check out the article "Interview with Jeremy
Taylor on Dreams as a a Tool for Social Change"
ESSAY
Herman Hesse on Cheerful Serenity
http://www.tearsofllorona.com/cheer.html
ARTICLE
"Finding Happiness in a Harvard Classroom"
http://snipurl.com/oc5h
ARTICLE
"Happiness Is a Warm Gun" by Maureen Dowd
http://snipurl.com/oc5p
(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They're not advertisements,
and I get no kickbacks.)
Please tell me your own personal nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES.
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning March 30
Copyright 2006 by Rob Brezsny
http://www.freewillastrology.com
Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*
ARIES (March 21-April 19): It would be a great time to launch several new
ventures all at once, even if it means abandoning an old project you've
been working on for months. APRIL FOOL! Don't you dare do what I just
suggested. The future won't thrive unless you lavish the past with the
gift of your careful attention. Please please please put the finishing
touches on a labor of love you've been working on for months--and
*then* start new projects.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Does the curse "goddamn it" fly out of your
mouth every time you stub your toe or misplace your keys? Do you know
the brand names of ten different beers but have trouble remembering any
of the Ten Commandments? Do you sometimes undress people in your
imagination without their permission? If so, says the *Weekly World
News,* you're going to hell when you die many years from now. There is,
however, a tiny chance you can begin some atonement now that will
cancel out the karma from the above-named sins and stave off eternal
damnation. APRIL FOOL! The acts I named aren't sins, and besides, there's
no such thing as hell. However, it's true that this is a good time to seek
forgiveness and try to correct old mistakes.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The number 6714 has always been devoid of
any cosmic significance for you. It has failed to be involved with a single
stroke of good fortune. But now it has burst into your life to serve as
your lucky number--an omen of abundance, grace, and success. Your
assignment: Make prodigious use of 6714. APRIL FOOL! There is no such
thing as a lucky number, except in the sense that all numbers are lucky
numbers for those people who believe they are lucky. Your *real*
assignment is this, Gemini: Find a way to believe in your heart that for
you, all numbers are lucky.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Watch out for fake pizza-delivery drivers
who're actually trying to issue you a subpoena. Be careful you don't see a
blood red sky at dusk, in case it's a bad omen predicting the outbreak of
tribulations. Beware of the possibility that a large bird carrying a turtle to
its nest accidentally drops its prey on your head from a great height.
APRIL FOOL! The truth is, my fellow Cancerian, this should be one of the
most worry-free weeks in the history of your life. You're welcome, of
course, to dream up a host of scary fantasies if you find that entertaining,
but I can practically guarantee that they'll all be illusory.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I'm reasonably certain that a supermodel wearing
antlers and clown face paint will soon offer you $10,000 for the right to
spank you on national TV. It'll be that kind of week, Leo: a time when
opportunities will come your way cloaked in seemingly absurd
circumstances. You might also expect that a homeless person with the flu
will offer to lead you to a dumpster in which there's a suitcase containing
a priceless 2,500-year-old archaeological artifact. APRIL FOOL! It's true
that this week will bring more opportunities than usual, and they'll
probably all have some odd twist--but not quite *that* odd.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): This is a perfect astrological moment to
recreate the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel using Play-Doh as your raw
material. It's also a good time to learn to play Mozart's *Magic Flute* on
the kazoo, produce an abridged, 1,000-word version of James Joyce's
*Ulysses,* or build a miniature model of the Sphinx using toothpicks and
rubber bands. APRIL FOOL! Doing any of the things I just described would
be a silly waste of time and energy. Please find projects that are truly
worthy of your creativity, which is overflowing right now.
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EXPLORE THE BIG PICTURE OF YOUR LIFE
with my Expanded Audio Horoscopes for the Coming Year
How can you best cooperate with the opportunities and challenges that
2006 will bring you? What are the blessings that life is likely to offer you
as a spur to your growth? Would you like some inspiration as you survey
your destiny from the mountaintop perspective?
To access my IN-DEPTH, LONG-TERM AUDIO FORECASTS FOR YOUR LIFE IN
2006, go here:
http://snipurl.com/krjm
Click on your astrological sign, then choose either part 1, part 2, or part 3
of my BIG PICTURE look at your future--or even all three parts, if you're
feeling adventurous.
You can also choose to listen to my short-range outlook for the coming
week.
The Expanded Audio Horoscopes cost $6 apiece if you access them on
the Web via RealAudio.
You can also hear them over the phone for $1.99 per minute.
From the United States, call
1-900-950-7700
or
1-877-873-4888.
If you live in Canada, call
1-888-499-4425.
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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Astronomers estimate that about 8,500 stars
are visible to the naked eye. Half of them are always below the horizon
and therefore out of sight. Since most of us live amidst the light pollution
of cities, the number of stars we can actually see is further reduced to
about 2,500. Your assignment this week, Libra, is to go outside on a
clear, moonless night and make a wish on 1,000 of those stars. It's the
Wishing Season. Go wild. APRIL FOOL! While it's true that this is the
Wishing Season, it would be a poor use of your energy to dilute your
longing in such a scattershot manner. Instead, choose just one of the
visible stars and beam your most important heart's desire in its direction.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Due to a special dispensation from the
cosmic powers-that-be, you have been authorized to basically just sit
around and do nothing this week. Are you ready to enjoy the pleasures of
laziness and dissipation, Scorpio? Do you feel overdue for an extended
phase of vegging out? You can do so without incurring even a pinch of
karmic debt. APRIL FOOL! The truth is that you now have so much
physical energy and emotional stamina that you can be three times as
intense as you've ever been before. That's a good thing, since the
universe will be working you three times as hard as usual.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): "I always advise people never to give
advice," said P.G. Wodehouse. Having seen the wisdom of his counsel, I
will from now on fill your horoscopes with poetic and philosophical
ruminations about your destiny, but I will never again give advice. There
are enough people in this world telling you what you should do. I pledge
to make this space your sanctuary. APRIL FOOL! The truth is, dispensing
advice is in my genes. For me to repress it would be like asking Howard
Stern to stop being vulgar. Now here's my advice for you: Identify a
natural talent that you were born to express. Then take one practical step
to bring it into a fuller flowering.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The still, small voice within you usually just
provides you vague platitudes about how to be a better citizen. But in the
coming days, it will offer you truly useful information that could help you
become richer, sexier, more popular, and more powerful. It may even give
you the winning numbers of the lottery. Make damn sure you tune in.
APRIL FOOL! The still, small voice within you does *not* just provide
vague platitudes about how to be a better citizen. If you believe that,
you're listening to the wrong still, small voice. In fact, the real one is
always overflowing with extremely practical information about how to run
your day-to-day life in a way that's fun and meaningful. Listen harder and
faster than usual, please.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): This would be an excellent week to profit by
spreading deception and misinformation, Aquarius. Your skills as a liar are
at a peak. The more falsehoods you concoct, the more successful you will
be. APRIL FOOL! It's true that you could achieve illusory progress with the
help of deceit. But that progress would soon lead you into a morass that
would sap your energy. Besides, the ironic fact of the matter is that you
now have the capacity to tell the truth with more clarity and gusto than
you ever have before. To take advantage of that potential will bring you
surprising rewards in the long run, even if they may require short-term
sacrifices.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): It's high time for you to spend more money,
Pisces. You're lagging way behind in your purchase of the goods and
services you desperately need. Not only that: You've been lax in getting
yourself the profound healing that can only come from shopping therapy.
Get out there and splurge! Your role model is the Pentagon, which shells
out an average of $8,612 per second. APRIL FOOL! I was just kidding. The
truth is that it makes sense for you to spend more money on only one
thing: experiences that will help you get better at performing a
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HOMEWORK:
What April Fool prank could you do to spread pronoia in your part of the
world? Why don't you do it? Tell me about it by going to
http://www.freewillastrology.com and clicking on "Email Rob."
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WANT TO GET YOUR CHART DONE?
I'm not doing charts these days. In addition to writing my weekly column
and expanded audio horoscopes, I'm also working on a CD and promoting
my new book.
But I can recommend a colleague whose astro-aesthetics closely match
my own. She's RO LOUGHRAN.
Ro utilizes a blend of well-trained intuition, emotional warmth, and a high
degree of technical proficiency in horoscope interpretation; she is skilled
at exploring the mysteries of your life's purpose and nurturing your
connection with your own inner wisdom.
Ro is based in California, but can do phone consultations and otherwise
work with you regardless of geographic boundaries.
Ro's website is at
http://www.astrology-psychotherapy.com/
She can also be reached at roloughran@comcast.net
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If my emails don't reach your inbox, you should also look in your "Bulk
Mail" or "Junk Mail" folder.
I totally respect your privacy. I'll never sell or give away your address to
anyone.
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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2006 Rob Brezsny
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