Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
April 19, 2017
Every week since 2001, I have offered my Free Will Astrology horoscopes for free here in my newsletter. If you would like to support my ongoing work, please visit my Virtual Tip Jar at Paypal. It's here: paypal.me/FreeWillAstrology
You can also support my work by buying the Expanded Audio Horoscopes I create every week. These forecasts are different in tone and content from the written horoscopes I provide here. They're my four- to five-minute-long ruminations about the current chapter of your life story. They're available at RealAstrology.com.
WHAT I DO
I love creating a collection of twelve horoscopes each week for my readers. The Good Times newspaper in Santa Cruz, California published my first batch in January 1978, and I would love to keep writing them until at least January of 2038.
In order to live up to that challenge with integrity, I will have to continue doing what I have been doing since January 1978: relentlessly reinvent the way I create them. When I look back at the horoscopes I composed in 1978 and 1985 and 1992 and 2000 and 2008, I am amazed at how different they are from the way I approach my craft now. I could swear it was another person who wrote them.
And that's how it should be. It's good evidence that I'm living up to my ideal of how to be a creative artist. Experimenting with endless revision. Being willing to dispense with the old formulas, even those that have worked pretty well, so as to welcome the surprises life offers. Killing off the old ways so that new ways can emerge.
That's not just a sound strategy for me to pursue as a creative writer. It's also a cornerstone of my plan to master the art of being a human being. The blunt fact is that life has an extreme fondness for change. The Creator likes to keep things moving right along.
So if I hope to cooperate and even collaborate with the Primal Flux, I have to be adept at transformation. I have to celebrate the central formula of Hermetic magick: "Dissolution is the secret of the Great Work." Breaking down psychological fixations is an indispensable spiritual discipline, says the wisdom of the ages. Killing off one's illusions is a prime duty of a devotee of magick.
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From the Boulder Weekly: "For 28 years, Rob Brezsny has been covertly practicing poetry in the form of a weekly astrology column. Free Will Astrology runs in more than 100 newspapers nationwide . . ." More: bit.ly/TyOBlS
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My book PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA
is available at Amazon: bit.ly/Pronoia
or Powells: bit.ly/PronoiaPowells
Below are excerpts.
WHAT IS THE SOUL?
What's true about the word "God" may apply as well to "soul": Much of the meaning has been sucked out of it. It's a flabby ghost that has lost its life force. Say "soul" and you're liable to numb your listeners' attention. At best you may inspire them to picture a vague floating blob that feels more like an abstract concept than a real presence. That's a shame, because the eminence that's lazily referred to as "soul" is as crucial to you waking up tomorrow as your heart.
"If you need to visualize the soul," wrote Tom Robbins, "think of it as a cross between a wolf howl, a photon, and a dribble of dark molasses. But what it really is, as near as I can tell, is a packet of information. It's a program, a piece of hyperspatial software designed explicitly to interface with the Mystery. Not a mystery, mind you, the Mystery. The one that can never be solved."
As part of the Beauty and Truth Lab's ongoing crusade to wrestle the English language into a more formidable servant of the ecstatic impulse, we're pleased to present some alternate designations for "soul." See if any of the following concoctions feel right coming out of your mouth: 1. undulating superconductor; 2. nectar plasma; 3. golden lather; 4. smoldering crucible; 5. luminous caduceus.
If none of these work for you—or even if they do—create your own terms.
P.S. Here's Robbins' conclusion: "By waxing soulful you will have granted yourself the possibility of ecstatic participation in what the ancients considered a divinely animated universe."
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IT'S BAD LUCK TO BE SUPERSTITIOUS
Review in painstaking detail the history of your life,
honoring every moment as if you were conducting
a benevolent Judgment Day.
Forgive yourself of every mistake except one.
Create a royal crown for yourself
out of a shower cap, rubber bands, and light bulbs.
Think of the last place on Earth you'd ever want to visit,
and visualize yourself having fun there.
Test to see if people are really listening to you by asserting
that Karl Marx was one of the Marx Brothers.
Steal lint from dryers in laundromats
and use it to make animal sculptures for someone you admire.
Fantasize you're the child of divine parents
who abandoned you when you were two days old,
but who will soon be coming back to reunite with you.
Meditate on how one of the symbols of plenitude in Nepal
is a mongoose vomiting jewels.
Once a year on the night before your birthday,
say these words into a mirror: "It's bad luck to be superstitious."
Start a club whose purpose is to produce an archive
of controversial jokes and obscene limericks about beauty, truth, and love.
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MORE PRONOIA RESOURCES:
Colorado's investment in IUDs and other fire-and-forget birth control produced a "miracle." Teen births and abortions dropped by nearly 50%, and the birthrate among teens who were already mothers fell by 58%. There were also dramatic reductions in high-risk births.
The Student-Built Website That Keeps Government Climate Data Safe. Since Trump’s election, scientists have been scrambling to save climate change data sets. And one Michigan graduate student thought the more copies, the better.
UN report: Clean power is up, costs are down. Investment in renewables capacity was roughly double that in fossil fuels. The cost of offshore wind power has fallen by around a third since 2012 – far faster than expected.
(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They aren’t advertisements, and I get no kickbacks.)
Please tell me your own nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES: Truthrooster@gmail.com.
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning April 20
Copyright 2017 by Rob Brezsny
TAURUS (April 20-May 20):
Fantasize about sipping pear nectar and listening to cello music and inhaling the aroma of musky amber and caressing velvet, cashmere, and silk. Imagine how it would feel to be healed by inspiring memories and sweet awakenings and shimmering delights and delicious epiphanies. I expect experiences like these to be extra available in the coming weeks. But they won't necessarily come to you freely and easily. You will have to expend effort to ensure they actually occur. So be alert for them. Seek them out. Track them down.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20):
Contagion may work in your favor, but it could also undermine you. On the one hand, your enthusiasm is likely to ripple out and inspire people whose help you could use. On the other hand, you might be more sensitive than usual to the obnoxious vibes of manipulators. But now that I've revealed this useful tip, let's hope you will be able to maximize the positive kind of contagion and neutralize the negative. Here's one suggestion that may help: Visualize yourself to be surrounded by a golden force field that projects your good ideas far and wide even as it prevents the disagreeable stuff from leaking in.
CANCER (June 21-July 22):
A reader named Kris X sent me a rebuke. "You're not a guru or a shaman," he sneered. "Your horoscopes are too filled with the slippery stench of poetry to be useful for spiritual seekers." Here's my response: "Thank you, sir! I don't consider myself a guru or shaman, either. It's not my mission to be an all-knowing authority who hands down foolproof advice. Rather, I'm an apprentice to the Muse of Curiosity. I like to wrestle with useful, beautiful paradoxes. My goal is to be a joyful rebel stirring up benevolent trouble, to be a cheerleader for the creative imagination." So now I ask you, my fellow Cancerian: How do you avoid getting trapped in molds that people pressure you to fit inside? Are you skilled at being yourself even if that's different from what's expected of you? What are the soulful roles you choose to embody despite the fact that almost no one understands them? Now is a good time to meditate on these matters.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):
In the coming weeks, there will be helpers whose actions will nudge you -- sometimes inadvertently -- toward a higher level of professionalism. You will find it natural to wield more power and you will be more effective in offering your unique gifts. Now maybe you imagine you have already been performing at the peak of your ability, but I bet you will discover -- with a mix of alarm and excitement -- that you can become even more excellent. Be greater, Leo! Do better! Live stronger! (P.S.: As you ascend to this new level of competence, I advise you to be humbly aware of your weaknesses and immaturities. As your clout rises, you can't afford to indulge in self-delusions.)
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
I love to see you Virgos flirt with the uncharted and the uncanny and the indescribable. I get thrills and chills whenever I watch your fine mind trying to make sense of the fabulous and the foreign and the unfathomable. What other sign can cozy up to exotic wonders and explore forbidden zones with as much no-nonsense pragmatism as you? If anyone can capture greased lightning in a bottle or get a hold of magic beans that actually work, you can.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
A friend told me about a trick used by his grandmother, a farmer. When her brooding hens stopped laying eggs, she would put them in pillowcases that she then hung from a clothesline in a stiff breeze. After the hens got blown around for a while, she returned them to their cozy digs. The experience didn't hurt them, and she swore it put them back on track with their egg-laying. I'm not comfortable with this strategy. It's too extreme for an animal-lover like myself. (And I'm glad I don't have to deal with recalcitrant hens.) But maybe it’s an apt metaphor or poetic prod for your use right now. What could you do to stimulate your own creative production?
LOVE YOUR LIFE!
How's your fight for freedom going? Are you making progress in liberating yourself from your unconscious obsessions, bad habits, and conditioned responses? Are you turning out to be the hero of your own life?
For assistance and inspiration, tune in to my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES.
These forecasts are different in tone and format from the written horoscopes you read here in the newsletter. They're longer and more leisurely in tone. They tend to bring out more of the patient counselor in me, and have a bit less of the poet.
To listen to your Expanded Audio Horoscope online, go to RealAstrology.com.
Register and/or log in through the main page.
You can also listen over the phone by calling 1-877-873-4888.
The cost is $6 per sign on the Web (discounts available for bulk purchases), or $1.99 per minute by phone. Each forecast is 4-5 minutes long.
The Expanded Audio Horoscopes work on most smart phones and tablets.
"I don't much believe in astrology. But that doesn't seem to get in the way of me deriving a whole lot of benefits from your expanded audio horoscopes."
- A. Arrosto, Indianapolis
"You have an amazing aptitude for cutting through the lies I tell myself. Thanks for the gentle shocks."
- T. Preneris, Toronto
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
Now would be an excellent time to add deft new nuances to the ways you kiss, lick, hug, snuggle, caress, and fondle. Is there a worthy adventurer who will help you experiment with these activities? If not, use your pillow, your own body, a realistic life-size robot, or your imagination. This exercise will be a good warm-up for your other assignment, which is to upgrade your intimacy skills. How might you do that? Hone and refine your abilities to get close to people. Listen deeper, collaborate stronger, compromise smarter, and give more. Do you have any other ideas?
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
"If I had nine hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend the first six sharpening my ax," said Abraham Lincoln, one of America's most productive presidents. I know you Sagittarians are more renowned for your bold, improvisational actions than your careful planning and strategic preparation, but I think the coming weeks will be a time when you can and should adopt Lincoln's approach. The readier you are, the freer you'll be to apply your skills effectively and wield your power precisely.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
Zoologists say that cannibalizing offspring is common in the animal kingdom, even among species that care tenderly for their young. So when critters eat their kids, it's definitely "natural." But I trust that in the coming weeks, you won't devour your own children. Nor, I hope, will you engage in any behavior that metaphorically resembles such an act. I suspect that you may be at a low ebb in your relationship with some creation or handiwork or influence that you generated out of love. But please don't abolish it, dissolve it, or abandon it. Just the opposite, in fact: Intensify your efforts to nurture it.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
Your astrological house of communication will be the scene of substantial clamor and ruckus in the coming weeks. A bit of the hubbub will be flashy but empty. But much of it should be pretty interesting, and some of it will even be useful. To get the best possible results, be patient and objective rather than jumpy and reactive. Try to find the deep codes buried inside the mixed messages. Discern the hidden meanings lurking within the tall tales and reckless gossip. If you can deal calmly with the turbulent flow, you will give your social circle a valuable gift.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):
The best oracular advice you'll get in the coming days probably won't arise from your dreams or an astrological reading or a session with a psychic, but rather by way of seemingly random signals, like an overheard conversation or a sign on the side of a bus or a scrap of paper you find lying on the ground. And I bet the most useful relationship guidance you receive won't be from an expert, but maybe from a blog you stumble upon or a barista at a café or one of your old journal entries. Be alert for other ways this theme is operating, as well. The usual sources may not have useful info about their specialties. Your assignment is to gather up accidental inspiration and unlikely teachings.
ARIES (March 21-April 19):
After George Washington was elected as the first President of the United States, he had to move from his home in Virginia to New York City, which at the time was the center of the American government. But there was a problem: He didn't have enough cash on hand to pay for his long-distance relocation, so he was forced to scrape up a loan. Fortunately, he was resourceful and persistent in doing so. The money arrived in time for him to attend his own inauguration. I urge you to be like Washington in the coming weeks, Aries. Do whatever's necessary to get the funds you need to finance your life's next chapter.
At least 30 percent of everything you and I know is more than half-wrong. Are you brave enough to admit it? Describe your ignorance. FreeWillastrology.com.
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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright 2017 Rob Brezsny