Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter April 7, 2010

Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
APRIL 7, 2010
FreeWillAstrology.com

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Main website: FreeWillAstrology.com
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There's a new release from the soundtrack for my book PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA.

It's called "Beauty and Truth Lab." You can access it here: bit.ly/TruthLab

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The revised and expanded version of my book PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA is available at Amazon: bit.ly/Pronoia

Here's an excerpt:

I HAVE A DREAM

I have a dream that in the New Earth, there will be a new Bill of Rights. The first amendment will be, "Your daily wage is directly tied to the beauty and truth and love you provide."

I have a dream that in the New Earth, childbirth will be broadcast on prime time TV every single night.

I have a dream that the New Earth will have rapturists, and they'll vastly outnumber the terrorists. The rapturists will be performance artists with a conscience . . . charismatic improvisers who love to spring fun surprises. They'll commit unexpected interventions and unscheduled spectacles that delight hordes of strangers.

I have a dream that in the New Earth, we will add an eleventh commandment to the standard ten: Thou shalt not bore God.

I have a dream of a week-long annual holiday called the Bacchanalia. Work and business will be suspended so that all adults can explore their ripe mojo with frothy erotic experiments. Tenderly orgiastic marathons will rage unabated. Reverential ecstasy and grateful generosity will rule.

I have a dream that when anchormen report tragedies on their nightly TV shows, they'll break down and cry and let their emotions show. No more poker faces.

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In the New Earth, you'll be a fascinating enigma worthy of a best-selling unauthorized biography and I'll be an inscrutable genius whose every move is packed with symbolic meaning -- and vice versa. That will be the law in the New Earth -- far different from the Old Earth, where schadenfreude is epidemic and your distinctive flair is supposed to make me feel worshipful or diminished.

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I have a dream that in the New Earth, the word "a**hole" will be a term of endearment rather than abuse. Plutocracy will be a felony. April Fool's Day will come once a month. There'll be scientific horoscopes and mystical logic. Every one of us will have at least one imaginary friend. Compassion will be an aphrodisiac.

In the New Earth, we'll launch an affirmative action program that ultimately makes most of us celebrities. Buddhist real estate developers will build a chain of sacred shopping centers in the heartland. The CEOs of the Fortune 500 companies will be required by law to enjoy once-a-week sessions with Jungian psychotherapists. Pioneers in artificial intelligence research will develop computers that can talk to God.

In the New Earth, same-sex marriages will be fully sanctioned, of course. But why stop there? We'll also legalize wedding bonds among threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes, and large groups of people who are in love with each other. I have a dream that we will expand the meaning of love beyond anything our ancestors imagined.

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In the New Earth, our children will study singing and dancing and meditation and dream work with as much diligence as they now devote to math and science. They'll learn to see with their own eyes and think with their own minds and feel with their own hearts, studying those subjects as intently as they do spelling and grammar and social studies. Beginning in seventh grade, they'll get lessons in the art of creating successful intimate relationships. And we'll teach them why it's only fair that for the next 3,000 years we use "her" for the generic singular pronoun instead of "him."

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I have a dream that we will take everything we need and give everything we have. We'll be both selfish altruists and generous braggarts, libertarian socialists and capitalist humanitarians. That'll be the law in the New Earth -- different from the Old Earth, where you can blindly serve your own interests or devote yourself to the needs of others, but not both.

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I have a dream that in the New Earth, Oprah Winfrey will buy up all the Pizza Huts on the planet and convert them into a global network of menstrual huts, where for a few days each month, every one of us, men and women alike, can resign from the crazy-making 9-5 -- drop out and slow down, break trance and dive down into eternal time.

We will sleep nine hours every night as we practice our lucid dreams . . . sing love songs from the future while soaking in steamy herb baths . . . feast on chocolate as we converse with the little voices in our heads . . . research the distinctions between stupid, boring pain and smart, fascinating pain until we finally get it right . . . wear magic underwear made from eagle feathers, spider webs, and 100-year-old moss . . . and conjure up bigger, better, more original sins and wilder, wetter, more interesting problems.

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In the New Earth, you'll kick your own ass and I'll wash my own brain. I'll be my own parent and you'll be your own wife. And vice versa. That'll be normal in the New Earth -- different from the Old Earth, where everyone except me is to blame for my ignorance and you call on everyone except yourself to give you what you need.

I'll push my own buttons and right my own wrongs. You'll wake yourself up and sing your own songs.

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I'm the president now . . . and so are you. I am the Supreme Commander of the United Snakes of the Blooming HaHa . . . and so are you. And what we proclaim is that in the New Earth, we will love our neighbors as ourselves, even if our neighbors are jerks. We will never divide the world into us against them. We will search for the divine spark even in the people we most despise, and we will never dehumanize anyone, even those who dehumanize us.

I have a dream that sooner or later every one of us will become a well-rounded, highly skilled, incredibly rich master of rowdy bliss—with lots of leisure time and an orgiastic feminist conscience.

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MORE PRONOIA RESOURCES:

YOU ARE ALMOST CERTAINLY UNDERESTIMATING YOUR BLESSINGS
Who are the luckiest people who have ever been born in the history of civilization?
tinyurl.com/yglvskm

THERE ARE MANY HEROES YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF
Man with special blood type saves 2 million babies
tinyurl.com/ydok77j

KEEP TRACK OF WHAT'S IMPROVING
The crime rate just keeps falling and falling
tinyurl.com/ydwmfnf

(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They are not advertisements, and I get no kickbacks.)

Please tell me your own personal nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES.

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning April 8

Copyright 2010 by Rob Brezsny
FreeWillAstrology.com

ARIES (March 21-April 19):

It would be a good week for you to perfect your ability to crow like a rooster, Aries. I also recommend that you practice your skill at leaping out of bed in the morning fully refreshed, with your imagination primed and ready to immediately begin making creative moves. Other suggested exercises: being on the alert for what's being born; holding a vision of the dawn in your heart throughout the day; and humorously strutting around like you own whatever place you're in.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):

I got a spam email containing supposed words of wisdom from the Dalai Lama. "We spend more, but have less," it said. "We have more conveniences, but less time; more experts, yet more problems." It went on like this for a while. I was suspicious. It seemed to contain too many pop platitudes to have been uttered by the Dalai Lama. With Google's help, I did some research and discovered that the passage was actually the handiwork of pastor Bob Moorehead, who resigned from his Seattle church under a cloud of allegations about misconduct. I urge you to make similar investigations of the ostensible truths you receive this week, Taurus. You may find discrepancies as major as the differences between the Dalai Lama and Bob Moorehead.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20):

A life-long dream of mine came true recently, and I didn't even know it was a life-long dream until it happened. It struck unexpectedly on a Tuesday afternoon. My daughter called on the phone from her college dorm room, wanting to discuss an essay she'd been assigned for her History of Modern Art class. She really liked it, but there were some points she wanted to understand better, and she thought my input might help. The essay? The "Surrealistic Manifesto," formulated in 1924 by the writer André Breton. Years ago, it was a crucial document in my own development as a young poet. The opportunity to share its heady brew with the beloved child I used to push on a swing was startlingly blissful. I predict a similar event for you in the coming days, Gemini: the fruition of a life-long dream you didn't even know you had.

CANCER (June 21-July 22):

It's probably true for a lot of celebrities that their public personas are not accurate reflections of their private lives. One striking example is actress Megan Fox, who's famous for being a sex goddess. But the fact is, she told Harper's Bazaar magazine, she has only slept with two men in her life, and it makes her ill to even contemplate having sex with someone she doesn't love. While it may not bother her to have a reputation that's so different from her inner world, I wouldn't say the same about you -- especially now. I urge you to do what you can to create more harmony between the version of yourself that you project outward and the version of yourself you actually live in.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):

In her poem "The Gift," Chinese poet Shu Ting writes, "I dream the dream of a pond who lives not just to mirror the sky but to let willow trees on the bank drink me up." This would be an excellent dream for you to dream in the coming week, Leo. It would also be empowering for you to render its themes in your waking life. I think you will derive great pleasure and sound teaching from mirroring a soaring archetype and feeding an intimate primal force. (Shu Ting's poem was translated by Tony Barnstone and Newton Liu.)

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

Are you an athlete? If so, I suspect that you will soon make an adjustment in your training or technique that will improve your game. Are you an artist, musician, writer, performer, or dancer? I bet you will get a sweet insight about the creative process that could revolutionize your work in the months to come. Are you a pilgrim on a meandering long-distance quest to a promised land whose location you're not exactly sure of? Any minute now, you'll uncover a clue that will dramatically narrow down the possibilities of where the promised land is.

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YOU NEED MAGIC EVERY DAY

Every day, you have to wade through a relentless surge of soul-less facts. The experience tends to shut down your sense of wonder.

Every day, you're over-exposed to narratives that have been sucked free of delight and mystery. That's why you have to make such strenuous efforts to keep your world enchanted.

I like to think I can contribute to the sacred cause of feeding your sense of wonder and enchantment. In fact, that's one of my prime motivations for offering you the free weekly horoscopes you read in this newsletter.

If you ever want more of that good stuff, and think it's worth paying for, please consider trying out my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES. They're four-to-five-minute meditations on the current state of your destiny.

Go here to access them: RealAstrology.com

You can also listen over the phone by calling 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700

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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):

There may be times in the coming week when you will in a sense be dreaming while standing up. On other occasions, you may be hard at work while lying down. In fact, I suspect that the law of reversals will be in full bloom. Things that have been last will, at least temporarily, be first, and influences that have calmed you down will rile you up. What has been crazy may be quite sane, and what has been in the shadows will come into the light. Tight squeezes may turn into expansive releases and heavy-duty commitments will get a dose of slack -- and vice versa. Always vice versa.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):

Every one of us is engaged in some ongoing battle with ourselves. Maybe there's a conflict between our heart and head. Maybe we're trying to stop expressing some behavior that we know is self-destructive but seems all too natural and easy to do. Maybe we feel guilty about or resentful toward some event from the past, and are constantly fighting with its after-image. Whatever your version of the civil war might be, Scorpio, the coming weeks will be an excellent time to reduce the heat of the strife. But you'll have to be ingenious as you reframe the way you think about the situation, and you'll have to locate a reservoir of willpower that has been hidden in your depths.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

This would be an excellent time for you to take inventory of what brings you pleasure. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you're due for an update and upgrade. Some of your tried-and-true strategies for generating joys and thrills are fraying at the edges. You should consider refurbishing them, even as you also think about going in quest of fresh sources of delight. For extra credit, see if you can gain access to an experience that could accurately be described as "a blessed state of bliss."

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

It would be smart for you to whet your appetite, but please don't go too far and spoil your appetite. Imagine and plan for the feast to come; make sure the evolution of the feast is on track; but don't try to actually enjoy the entire feast yet. It's not ready, you see. The "cooking" isn't complete. To dive in now would be like eating a chocolate cake that has only been baking in the oven for ten minutes. In conclusion, Capricorn, strike a balance between practicing watchful patience and cultivating protective excitement.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):

Your key word for the week is "fulcrum." It's derived from a Latin verb meaning "to prop up, support," and its definitions include the following: 1. the stable point on which a lever pivots; 2. the crux of a percussionist's grip as he or she holds a drumstick; 3. an agent through which vital powers are exercised. I suggest you meditate on where the metaphorical fulcrums are in your life, and then take creative measures to give them extra care and enhance their strength.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):

I'm wearing a replica of an ancient Egyptian atef, a white crown surmounted by two ostrich feathers. My white cashmere robe, decorated with Qabalistic sigils, was sewn for me by a Wiccan priestess. My wand is shaped like the head of a Kalao bird and once belonged to a shaman from Burkina Faso. Aided by these accessories, I gaze into my magic mirror and conjure the spirit of my deceased great-uncle Felix, a successful businessman born under the sign of Pisces. He has always been a reliable source of inside info for me in the past. "Dear ancestor," I murmur, "do you have an oracular revelation for my Piscean readers?" And he replies: "Tell them their money mojo is stronger than usual. Urge them to bargain aggressively and make sure they get a percentage of the gross, not just of the net profits."

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HOMEWORK:

What's the one thing you know you should do but have never done? Testify by going to FreeWillAstrology.com and clicking on "Email Rob."

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WANT TO GET YOUR CHART DONE?

I'm not doing personal charts, but I highly recommend my astrological colleague, RO LOUGHRAN. Her approach closely matches my own. In our many discussions about astrology over the years, we've had a major influence on each other's work.

Ro utilizes a blend of well-trained intuition, emotional warmth, and a high degree of technical proficiency in horoscope interpretation; she is skilled at exploring the mysteries of your life's purpose and nurturing your connection with your own inner wisdom.

Ro is based in California, but can do phone consultations and otherwise work with you regardless of geographic boundaries.

Ro's website is at YourSoulJourney.com

She can also be reached at roloughran@comcast.net

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Submissions sent to the Free Will Astrology Weekly Newsletter or in response to "homework assignments" may be published in a variety of formats at Rob Brezsny's discretion, including but not limited to newsletters, books, the Free Will Astrology column, and Free Will Astrology website. We reserve the right to edit such submissions for length, style, and content. Requests for anonymity will be honored with submissions; otherwise, reader names, screen names, or initials will be used. Please be sure to note your preference when sending to us. We are not responsible for unsolicited submission of any creative material.

Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright 2010 Rob Brezsny

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