Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
MAY 6, 2009
FreeWillAstrology.com
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"It is impossible for man to look straight at the present,
because he is too terrified by it. We stand on the stern of the
ship looking at the wake and saying, 'We're in very troubled waters.'"
- Marshall McLuhan
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MORE PRONOIA RESOURCES:
DOCUMENTING THE FLOOD OF BLESSINGS
Good News Network
tinyurl.com/d5mkuw
goodnewsnetwork.org
goodnewsdaily.com
KILLING OFF IGNORANCE
How To Be Wise
tinyurl.com/cbdkd7
EXPANDING THE FRONTIERS OF LOVE
The 1500-Year History of Church-Sanctioned Same-Sex Unions
tinyurl.com/dgn2d
(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They are not advertisements,
and I get no kickbacks.)
Please tell me your own personal nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES.
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To buy my book,
PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA:
How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings
go here: tinyurl.com/qaj62
or here: tinyurl.com/3dsx6q
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning May 7
Copyright 2009 by Rob Brezsny
FreeWillAstrology.com
TAURUS (April 20-May 20):
In recent decades, many British people with unfortunate surnames
have changed them. There are now 40 percent fewer Shufflebottoms,
while the numbers of Cockshotts and Smellies have also declined
precipitously. Meanwhile, back in the U.S., the government has
re-branded its notorious Global War on Terror, shifting to the
more palatable "Overseas Contingency Operation." I hold
these examples up for your inspiration, Taurus. It's a good time
to alter any name or title you've outgrown, as well as any label
that no longer fits or any category you'd like to leave behind.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20):
I'm going to quote a few pieces of advice from a piece I found
on the Internet, "15 Fun Things To Do During a Big, Important
Test." I trust that this will stimulate your imagination
in all the right ways as you get ready for your metaphorical version
of a final exam. 1. Bring your own private cheerleaders in uniform.
Have them cheer loudly whenever you answer a question. 2. Haul
in a large, flamboyant idol. Set it next to you and pray to it
often. 3. Bring a friend to give you a massage the entire time.
Insist this person is needed because your thoughts flow properly
only when your circulation is enhanced. 4. Every now and then,
clap twice rapidly. if the teacher asks why, say, "The light
bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up
to a Clapper. DUH!"
CANCER (June 21-July 22):
Buster Posey is an up-and-coming baseball player for the San
Francisco Giants. The poetic incongruity of his name is so apt
a symbol for your imminent future, I'm making him your patron
saint. According to my reading of the omens, you'll be called
on to be like a "Buster" -- a macho, pushy, no-nonsense
dude who gets things done -- but you will also find power in being
as delicate and lovely and innocent as the small flower bouquet
known as a posey. Sometimes it'll make sense to be one or the
other. On other occasions, you'll benefit from being in both modes
simultaneously.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):
"The Amazing Race" is a reality TV show in which two-member
teams compete for money and prizes by doing odd feats in exotic
locales. One especially stupid and awesome task they performed
was carrying 50-pound wheels of cheese down a slippery hill in
Switzerland. Everyone started out hauling the wheels on cumbersome
wooden backpacks, but hardly anyone was able to make it to the
bottom without falling, breaking the backpacks, and having to
manually herd the runaway cheese the rest of the way. I foresee
a similar fate for you, Leo. You'll be asked to do things that
are both fun and frustrating, all in a cause that in the long
run will be worthwhile.
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LISTEN TO AN EXPANDED HOROSCOPE
In addition to the horoscopes that you're reading here, I create
more in-depth audio horoscopes for your inspiration. Find out
more at RealAstrology.com.
The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888
or 1-900-950-7700.
"The best part about your audio horoscopes is that they
pat me on the head and kick me in the ass at the same time."
- Rita L., San Diego
"Your audio oracles go beyond helping me find the truth
-- they inspire me to find the WILD truth."
- Patrick K., Montreal
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VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
One of the most successful managers in baseball history was Casey
Stengel. His New York Yankee teams won the world championship
seven times. Before the 1953 season, when the Yankees had already
won four consecutive World Series, he made the observation that
"If we're going to win the pennant, we've got to start thinking
we're not as smart as we think we are." I hope some version
of those words will come out of your mouth soon, Virgo. As savvy
and crafty as you are, you'll have to become even more so in order
to pull off the victory that's almost within your grasp.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
This notice appeared on a bulletin board at a local nightclub
that features hip hop DJs: "Missing: my great-grandmother's
necklace, which dropped off my neck while I was krump dancing
last Saturday. It might have happened when I was doing a head
spin. The necklace has three strands of pearls and a pendant engraved
with 'To Florence, 1927.' Contact Monique." I call this to
your attention, Libra, because I think it's possible that you'll
have an experience somewhat akin to Monique's. Playing exuberantly
in a very modern style could result in you losing something from
the old days. Unlike Monique, though, I bet your loss will be
liberating.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
BBC reported on the growing number of "spiritual tourists"
who shop around in their search for inner peace. "We are
entering a world," said one expert, "where people aren't
interested in whether something is true or not, or whether they
believe it or not, but whether it works." That would be a
good prescription for you in the coming months, Scorpio. I recommend
that you reject any idea or theory or practice unless it has the
practical value of making you feel more at home in the world and
more accepting of yourself.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
I encourage you to attempt a difficult feat: For a few days,
dissolve every burst of anger that rises up in you. Squash it.
Wrestle it into submission. Attack it with love bombs. If you
can eradicate the fury at its source, never even letting it ripen,
that would be best. But the most important thing is to use all
your ingenuity to keep your hostility, irritation, and snark from
reaching the surface and spilling out. And why should you try
this seemingly impossible experiment? Because according to my
analysis of the omens, it would bring unexpected improvements
in your physical and mental health.
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If you'd like to get an idea of what my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES
are like, tune in to my free podcast "You Are a Prophet."
tinyurl.com/cleeck
"You Are a Prophet" is a meditation about how your
imagination is your greatest resource and treasure.
Find out more about the EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES at RealAstrology.com.
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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
Did you hear about the older Korean woman who has failed her
driving test 800 times? Or the American man who has filled out
job applications at 25 Pizza Huts in 20 cities without being hired?
Or the British artist who has completed over 5,000 paintings even
though no gallery has ever shown his work? There is something
about you that resembles those persistently frustrated people
-- or at least has resembled them up until now. Soon, I predict,
the dogged efforts you've made will finally pay off in at least
a modest success, and perhaps even more if you'll make an effort
to free your mind of its backlog of sad images.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
According to polls, more than half the population believes they
are fantastic kissers. How did they get that way? Some people
say they have rehearsed extensively by smooching the backs of
their own hands or rubbing their lips up against posters of celebrities.
Whether you've tried these techniques or have developed other
strategies, Aquarius, I advise you to bone up on your skills.
Not this week, but soon, you will be entering a prime romantic
phase of your astrological cycle -- a time when you will have
the potential to accomplish wonders and marvels with your mouth.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):
How do you deal with those three periods every year when Mercury
is retrograde, as it is between May 7 and 30? I'd like you to
consider the meditations of artist and activist Gabrielle Senza:
"I think of Mercury retrograde as a big obnoxious Rottweiler
on a chain that bares its teeth, lunging and barking as I walk
by. I can choose to experience it in one of three ways: 1) as
a frightening moment that catches me off guard; 2) as a humorous
interlude that allows me to make fun of what I'm afraid of because
I know it can't hurt me; 3) as an opportunity to change my route,
usually leading to some wonderful surprise that rewards my instinct
to willingly depart from my plans and projections."
ARIES (March 21-April 19):
When they pray, Muslims face the Kaaba, a cube-shaped building
in Mecca, Saudi Arabia. Every mosque around the world typically
has a niche that shows the precise direction of that holy place.
Recently, however, worshipers have discovered that many of the
older mosques in Mecca itself have niches that aren't pointing
the right way. They're concerned that the prayers they've dispatched
in the past weren't aimed correctly. Is it possible that there's
a comparable scenario in your life, Aries? Might you be filled
with righteous intentions, but not quite delivering them to the
correct location? If so, this is an excellent time to make adjustments.
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HOMEWORK:
Make a prediction about the victory you will pull off between
May 8 and May 10. Testify by going to FreeWillAstrology.com
and clicking on "Email Rob."
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WANT TO GET YOUR CHART DONE?
I'm not doing personal charts, but I highly recommend my astrological
colleague, RO LOUGHRAN. Her approach closely matches my own. In
our many discussions about astrology over the years, we've had
a major influence on each other's work.
Ro utilizes a blend of well-trained
intuition, emotional warmth, and
a high
degree of technical proficiency
in horoscope interpretation; she
is skilled
at exploring the mysteries of your
life's purpose and nurturing your
connection with your own inner
wisdom.
Ro is based in California, but
can do phone consultations and
otherwise
work with you regardless of geographic
boundaries.
Ro's website is at YourSoulJourney.com
She can also be reached at roloughran@comcast.net
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Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright
2009 Rob Brezsny
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