Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter March 26, 2008

Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
MARCH 26, 2008
FreeWillAstrology.com

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"If I had the influence with the good fairy who is supposed to preside over the christening of all children, I should ask that her gift to each child in the world be a sense of wonder so indestructible that it would last throughout life, an unfailing antidote against the boredom and disenchantment of later years, sterile preoccupations with things that are artificial, the alienation from the sources of our strength."

- Rachel Carson, The Sense of Wonder

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My book
PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA:
How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings
is available for sale at
tinyurl.com/qaj62

To read some of the book online, go to
tinyurl.com/2ughfv

Here's an excerpt:

PRONOIA NEWS NETWORK

These are our top stories.

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CULTURE WARS A FABRICATION?

The high degree of religious and multicultural tolerance in the United States is unprecedented in world history. So said sociologist Alan Wolfe in his book One Nation, After All, based on two years of interviews with 200 subjects.

"Wolfe argues that middle-class Americans don't deserve their reputation as angry, sanctimonious, and narrow-minded," reported Alicia Potter in the Boston Phoenix. "On the contrary, they're optimistic, thoughtful, and slow to judge."

Wolfe's subjects expressed remarkable acceptance of immigrants, non-whites, and people of other socio-economic classes.

Wolfe was frustrated by his findings. Because he makes part of his living writing for opinionated magazines, he yearned for more controversial data.

"The reasonableness, the sensitivity, the thoughtfulness just drove me batty," he told Potter. "I just wanted to scream at people, 'Isn't there something that really just makes you angry and upset?'" (Source: Alicia Potter, Boston Phoenix, March 30, 1998)

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SINGING DUELS DIFFUSE ANGER

"In Greenland, disputes are solved through singing duels. The quibbling parties face off and proceed to croon tunes heaped high with insults. While spectators pass the final judgment on the event, the singing generally diffuses the anger, and the dueling parties leave as friends." - Mental Floss, July-August 2004

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FREE OF MENTAL ILLNESS

You don't suffer from anthonephophobia, a fear of flowers falling from clouds.

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REBORN STEEL

The North American steel industry annually recycles millions of tons of steel scrap from recycled cans, automobiles, appliances, construction materials, and other steel products. The scrap is remelted to produce new steel. Every ton of steel recycled saves 2,500 pounds of iron ore, 1,400 pounds of coal, and 120 pounds of limestone. The industry's overall recycling rate is 68 percent.

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ANIMAL ECSTASY

In his book Animals and Psychedelics: The Natural World and the Instinct to Alter Consciousness, ethnobotanist Giorgio Samorini proves that many animals deliberately alter their consciousness. His evidence includes robins that get drunk on holly berries and act "like winged clowns," as well as goats hooked on caffeine and reindeer that seek out hallucinogenic mushrooms.

Samorini concludes that the desire to get high is a natural drive. Intoxication has served as an evolutionary force for some species, breaking down outworn habits in such a way as to improve long-term survival.

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CRANE OPPORTUNISM

Between North and South Korea is a long, narrow strip of land called the DMZ. Designed to be a buffer zone where all human activity is prohibited, it has accidentally become a nature preserve beloved by white-naped cranes. The area is a paradise for the birds because it has an abundance of undisturbed marshland and is free of predators. Luckily, the cranes are so lightweight that they're in no danger of detonating the many land mines buried throughout the 370-square-mile area.

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POETRY FACTS

"Poetry is a rich, full-bodied whistle, cracked ice crunching in pails, the night that numbs the leaf, the duel of two nightingales, the sweet pea that has run wild, Creation's tears in shoulder blades." - Boris Pasternak

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FREE WORK DONE OUT OF LOVE

The U.S. Labor Department periodically analyzes the volunteer work done by Americans. In one report, it estimated that between September 2001 and September 2002, 59 million people offered their services free of charge as they mentored, tutored, built affordable housing, cleaned up the environment, and helped respond to community emergencies. The average contribution per person for the year was 52 hours. (Source: Associated Press)

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TOP SECRET MASS GATHERING

History's largest meeting of world religious leaders was virtually unreported by the media. During the apparently top-secret event, 200 representatives from every major faith gathered in Assisi, Italy. At the end of the conference, they issued the Assisi Decalogue for Peace, a document denouncing all violence committed in the name of God or religion. It declared, "We commit ourselves to stand at the side of those who suffer poverty and abandonment, speaking out for those who have no voice, and to working effectively to change these situations." (Source: David Waters, religion columnist)

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SIMPLE GIFTS

Habitat for Humanity is a grass roots organization devoted to eliminating substandard housing and homelessness. Since its inception in 1976, it has built or renovated 225,000 houses in the United States, and 11,545 elsewhere, mostly in South America, Africa, the Middle East, and the Asia-Pacific region.

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INTEGRITY INVENTORY

Finland, Iceland, and Denmark are the least corrupt nations, according to Transparency International's annual survey. (Source: www.transparency.org/)

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT

PNN is brought to you by this passage from Eknath Easwaran's book Gandhi, the Man: "One of the most radical discoveries Gandhi was to make in a lifetime of experimentation: In order to transform others, you have to transform yourself."

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THIS WEEK IN PRONOIAC HISTORY

Pablo Picasso had a difficult birth. When he finally popped out after a long labor, he wasn't breathing. The midwife decided his face was so blue he'd be impossible to revive. She declared him dead and left. But Picasso's uncle, who was in attendance, got up close to the infant and puffed cigar smoke up his nose. The shock brought him back to life.

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There are hundreds more stories like this in PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings

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To read news and features from my book, go here: tinyurl.com/lhwx2

You can buy the book here:

AMAZON
tinyurl.com/qaj62

POWELLS
tinyurl.com/3dsx6q

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OTHER PRONOIA RESOURCES:

IDENTIFY THE HIGHEST, NAME THE BEST
Top 100 Living Geniuses
tinyurl.com/35z4rg

MOVE ME, CHANGE ME, GIVE ME GREAT BLISS
Emily Dickinson's definition of poetry:
"If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry."
Here's one person's list of 15 poetry books that fit that description:
tinyurl.com/3d7dkh

IDENTIFY THE UNEXPECTED BEAUTY, NAME THE SOUL TWISTS OF ARTISTRY
Beauty Dialogues: A Blog
tinyurl.com/2fddok

(Note: I endorse these because I like them. They are not advertisements, and I get no kickbacks.)

Please tell me your own personal nominations for PRONOIA RESOURCES.

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning March 27

Copyright 2008 by Rob Brezsny
FreeWillAstrology.com

ARIES (March 21-April 19):

It's a good time to start preparing for the shocks that will arrive when the Mayan calendar ends on December 21, 2012. Some measures to consider: Learn how to use a gun, live off the grid, and gather edible plants that grow in the wild. APRIL FOOL! Everything I jut said was a histrionic lie. Here's my real message: The period leading up to the winter solstice in 2012, as well as that day itself, will bring no more than the usual rate of breakdowns and breakthroughs that has characterized the last two decades. Of course, that's still more novelty per year than previous generations experienced in a lifetime. But you've become pretty good at adapting, haven't you? This week I suggest you expand your mind even further about the massive transformations we're in the midst of, and think about how you can become even more skilled at constantly changing.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):

When you call to get pizza delivered and the clerk who takes your order asks your name, say you're Paris Hilton. When someone you're meeting is annoyed because you're late, say you couldn't help it because you were smoking crack in the bus station bathroom with your mom and lost track of time. If asked how much education you have, say you have three PhDs in astrobiology, Russian literature, and whale songs. APRIL FOOL! In fact, it's crucial for you to be utterly accurate about yourself. Try to go the entire week without indulging in even one white lie about who you really are.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20):

Danni, the renowned "Psychic to the Rich and Famous," predicts that disgraced ex-governor of New York Eliot Spitzer will relocate to Nevada to build an empire of legal high-end brothels that will feature the services of Britney Spears and other starlets on the downside. In that extravagant spirit, I prophesy that during the rest of 2008, you Geminis will have love lives that are as tumultuous and melodramatic and desperately interesting as the romantic escapades of bi-polar Hollywood idols. APRIL FOOL! Your love life may be unusual, uncanny, and highly entertaining during the next eight months, but it won't be painfully funny.

CANCER (June 21-July 22):

If you feel possessed by a ghost this week, don't worry about it: You're just channeling the spirit of a person you were in a previous incarnation. So yes, you may feel like a puppet whose strings are being yanked by an invisible entity, but at least you can rest content knowing that entity used to be you. APRIL FOOL! You should not, under any circumstances, allow yourself to be controlled by the old days and the old ways -- even if the invasive force comes in the form of someone you used to be.

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EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

In addition to the horoscopes that come to you in this newsletter, I create more in-depth audio horoscopes for your inspiration. I think of them as my love letters to you. They're $6 if you access them on the Web, or $1.99 per minute over the phone.

Try them at RealAstrology.com.

They're available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

"Your expanded astrology thingees help me remember who I really am."
- Gareth N., Toronto

"I never knew it was possible to get my butt kicked and my head patted at the same time -- until I listened to you, Rob."
- Kristi P., Portland, OR

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LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):

Author Rick Fields wrote about the time a friend called to recommend a workshop he'd signed up for. "You've got to come," the friend said. "This seminar will completely change your life in one brief weekend." Fields was skeptical. "I don't want to completely change my life this weekend," he replied. "I've got a lot of things to do on Monday." I urge you, Leo, to adopt a similar stance toward any big educational experiences that promise to dislodge you from your routine. APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, the astrological omens suggest you'll benefit from responding to invitations that just might thoroughly upgrade your world very quickly.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

In his science fiction book The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams says "the meaning of life, the universe, and everything" is the number 42. This week you will prove that's wrong, as you accumulate substantial evidence that the meaning of life, the universe, and everything is actually 59. APRIL FOOL! The meaning of everything can't be reduced to one number, or even to a single theory or ideology. In fact, the meaning of everything is just the opposite: It's glorious mystery. It's gorgeous, mind-teasing ambiguity and fertile, fascinating chaos. Get out there and enjoy the prodigious, kaleidoscopic truth!

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):

Ralph Nader for President of the United States! Ron Paul for Vice-President! Oprah for Secretary of State! Dennis Kucinich for Speaker of the House! It's time to overthrow the corrupt powers-that-be and install visionary leaders who will actually work for the good of the people. APRIL FOOL! As much as I'd love to see those public servants ascend to high office, it doesn't make sense to fight for that outcome. For me as well as for you, revolution is not yet in the works. This is a time to pursue hard-earned incremental improvements that will come through a pragmatic willingness to compromise. Don't waste your time on all-or-nothing proposals.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):

If you're intent on scoring and imbibing an exotic psychedelic drug from Africa, please seek out stuff that has been grown organically. If you're planning to acquire a panther as a house pet, make sure it has been housebroken. And if you find it impossible to repress your urge to stagger into a bar and find a stranger to take home for a night of carnal rapture, be sure to practice safe sex. APRIL FOOL! Everything I just said is a lie. Here's my real message for you: You're susceptible to rationalizing risky behavior, which could lead you to do stupid things. I suggest you either postpone sketchy adventures for a couple of weeks, or else get frank feedback from a clear-headed friend before diving in.

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AUDIO HOROSCOPES

In addition to the horoscopes that you're reading here, I create more in-depth audio horoscopes for your inspiration. Find out more at RealAstrology.com.

The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

"You told me the truth when no one else in my life would."
- Darren H., Minneapolis

"Your wake-up calls keep me from getting stale."
- Arris T., Aspen, CO

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

Lots of sex: That's the Truth and the Way for you right now, Sagittarius. It's the only sure method for enhancing your intelligence, increasing your income, and bringing you closer to your spiritual sources. I suggest you embark on a non-stop immersion in erotic experiments, stopping only occasionally to sleep and eat. APRIL FOOL! There's a crucial caveat to what I just said: Make sure the sex is blended with dramatic doses of tenderness, love, and compassion. Otherwise you'll be wasting your time.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

Rightwing politico William Kristol applauded President Bush's decision to nix better health insurance coverage for kids. "Whenever I hear anything described as a heartless assault on our children, I tend to think it's a good idea," he told Fox News. "I'm happy that the President's willing to do something bad for the kids." In the coming week, Capricorn, you should adopt Kristol's attitude. APRIL FOOL! It's true that the demands of innocent young things and sprouting naive types might inconvenience you. But I urge you to do the opposite of what Kristol advocates. It's in your long-term interests to be in eager service to whatever's unripe and unspoiled and growing fast.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):

After mining operations stripped away the plant life on China's Laoshou Mountain, the bureau of forestry hired workers to literally paint the bare surface of the whole facade green. You should take a similar approach to tidying up after your own recent "mining operation." APRIL FOOL! I was kidding. What I really meant is that you should do the metaphorical equivalent of planting a lot of trees and bushes to compensate for the consequences of your "mining operation." Don't be satisfied with merely cosmetic fixes.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):

You need more mayonnaise in your life. The omens suggest you should use it as a condiment with every meal, and even add it to smoothies and cocktails. To place yourself in maximum alignment with cosmic rhythms, make mayonnaise a part of your skin-care regimen, try it out as a brass polisher, and employ it to spice up your sex life. APRIL FOOL! You didn't seriously believe the planetary aspects are suggesting you should obsess on mayonnaise, did you? You do need a new spirit medicine, but it's not made from chicken eggs. Now here's your real horoscope, courtesy of philosopher Jonathan Zap: "Find your spirit medicine. And remember that what works for someone else, may not work for you (and vice-versa). Also what works for you when used consciously, sparingly, in just right the circumstances, might be disastrous as a habit."

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HOMEWORK:

Carry out a prank that makes someone feel really good. Report results by going to FreeWillAstrology.com and clicking on "Email Rob."

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WANT TO GET YOUR CHART DONE?

I'm not doing personal charts, but I highly recommend my astrological colleague, RO LOUGHRAN. Her approach closely matches my own. In our many discussions about astrology over the years, we've had a major influence on each other's work.

Ro utilizes a blend of well-trained intuition, emotional warmth, and a high degree of technical proficiency in horoscope interpretation; she is skilled at exploring the mysteries of your life's purpose and nurturing your connection with your own inner wisdom.

Ro is based in California, but can do phone consultations and otherwise work with you regardless of geographic boundaries.

Ro's website is at YourSoulJourney.com

She can also be reached at roloughran@comcast.net

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Submissions sent to the Free Will Astrology Weekly Newsletter or in response to "homework assignments" may be published in a variety of formats at Rob Brezsny's discretion, including but not limited to newsletters, books, the Free Will Astrology column, and Free Will Astrology website. We reserve the right to edit such submissions for length, style, and content. Requests for anonymity will be honored with submissions; otherwise, reader names, screen names, or initials will be used. Please be sure to note your preference when sending to us. We are not responsible for unsolicited submission of any creative material.

Contents of the Free Will Astrology Newsletter are Copyright 2008 Rob Brezsny

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