I actually just arrived back at the Ashram from California where I was for a couple of weeks with my grandchildren. I am feeling very nurtured and renewed. The unconditional love that children carry is so fortifying to me, and their moment-to-moment excitement about every aspect of life, is always a reminder and teaching to me. These are actually the two qualities that I most treasured being in the physical presence of Babaji, His tremendous unconditional love and His moment-to-moment aliveness and presence.
I remember a few times when I made silly mistakes in front of Babaji and felt so embarrassed and unworthy of His love. At times He would help escalate my feelings by calling me a hopeless lady, which is of course how I felt in the moment. I recall feeling so hopeless that I could not even look up at His face. Finally I had the courage to do so and what I saw was beyond my wildest expectation. Radiating from His eyes and His face were simply pure unconditional love, more love than I had ever experienced in my life. I can still feel that love in my heart and soul to this day, a love that transcends distance and time.
Babaji said: “If you come to me suspicious, I'll give you every reason to be suspicious. But if you come seeking love, I'll show you more love than you've every known.”
What amazed me watching Shri Babaji with the thousands of people that came to Him for His blessings was how different He was with each person. His range of responsiveness was uncanny. A look of understanding here, playfulness here, fierceness here, compassion here, disapproval here, wonder here, joy here, sweetness here, questioning here, love here, anger here, tenderness here, disgust here, boredom here, silliness here, and on and on and on! Every person got just what he or she needed to help them move in their process. And it all seemed to happen within seconds. He was like a mirror reflecting back to each devotee what was asked for in that particular moment. If you look carefully at some of the videos of Babaji, you can see this ability to be anything at any moment with any one.
Here is a quote from a Yoga Journal article by Dio Urmilla Neff in 1980. “He was different with each person and, sometimes, different from moment to moment. He'd be delightfully childlike, an affectionate playmate, then suddenly go blank, as if he'd just been called away and left his body behind. He'd be serious, then stern, then loving, then ridiculous.”
I send my love to you all and will connect again with the newsletter in a couple of weeks.
Om Namah Shivaya,